First Impressions of The Last Jedi Trailer

This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of waiting for the Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer, and will soon see (hopefully) the end of Supreme Leader Snoke inadvertently using internal rhyme:

“I saw raw [pause for eerie underscore] untamed power!”

Never thought of Chewbacca as a fuzzy-dice-on-the-rear-view-mirror kinda driver. So why is he suddenly tolerating fuzzy dice that yell? In any case, let the debate begin over repeating Ewok marketing history.

What’s with the enjambment-like interruption of otherwise complete sentences of dialogue by underscore and sound effects? See Snoke’s quote above for the first example. For a second example, here is Kylo Ren speaking:

“Kill it… [pause for orchestral vamp beneath TIE Fighter engine scream] …if you have to.”

Seriously folks, play the trailer with your eyes closed and just listen. It’s like the non-verbal elements of the soundtrack are mansplaining how we should feel about the dialogue, which spurts out in staggered fragments.

As with all previous Star Wars trailers, I will operate under the assumption that the clips in this one which seem the most spoiler-ish are the clips that will prove the most misleading when we see the finished movie.

Not a very fun trailer. Impressive. Most impressive. But certainly not delightful or enchanting like some of The Force Awakens teaser material. This trailer gives the impression of the characters having a very stressful Thursday.

Is Finn’s new sidekick, Rose Tico, anywhere in this trailer? I feel like all I know right now is she’s cute as a button. I’d like to know more than that.

What if the power which determines the fate of all Star Wars characters is not the Force, but the writers/directors opting for whichever plot twist the audience is least likely to anticipate?

No, Star Wars fan theorists. Nuh-no. This trailer does not reveal to whom Rey is related. But go ahead and claim that it does, and that you alone figured it out, thus scoring your blog lots of page views and maybe getting picked up by the Huffington Post. Besides, Rey is totally related to Snoke. Seriously, compare their eyes. [pause for slasher film violin screech] I’m kidding. I have no clue who Rey’s parents are.

If they ever make The Last Jedi into a Broadway musical, the Act 1 Finale will be a stirring ballad called “Something Truly Special” sung by Supreme Leader Snoke.

Author: Jake Christensen

Jake Christensen, aka ChildeJake, is a Michigan-based writer with a strong interest in space exploration and NASA in particular. He has attended NASA Socials at Glenn Research Center and Goddard Space Flight Center, as well as trips to venues like the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Washington D.C. He is a member of The Planetary Society and an avid reader and creative writer. During the daytime, Jake provides marketing and administrative support for scientific equipment sales. His writing has appeared in The Planetary Report, Current Magazine in Ann Arbor, as well as online for pillownaut.blogspot.com, encoremichigan.com, and his other blog: Childe Jake’s Pilgrimage. He has also performed many times onstage in regional and educational theatre. Periodically, he appears in The Moth StorySLAMs.

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